Tip 1: Wedding Proposal Happiness
The feeling that you've had since he got down on one knee and proposed ~ keep it throughout your wedding planning process. The pure elation & happiness of simply getting married will be a good guide throughout your wedding journey. Don't sweat the small things in this planning process, concentrate on the happiness of getting married
Tip 2: Savor the Moment the Wedding Can Wait
Regardless of whether you've dreamt about your wedding your entire life, or you've never given it a thought, take time to let the good news settle in. Don't be swayed by family and friends who immediately start asking about wedding dates, wedding dresses, wedding planning ... even if you are getting married in only a short time, relax and savor the moment!
Tip 3: Begin Planning a Wedding
First two items on the agenda: Pick a Place, Pick a Date. While everyone is going to chime in on location and dates, trust your instincts and pick a place and a time of year that is meaningful to only you and your betrothed.. When picking a date, think logically about what fits your schedule ~ wedding planning takes time and energy, therefore, make sure you have time to plan your wedding & pick a date that suits your schedule. As for the place ~ pick something meaningful and within your means. Think about where your guests will be traveling from and the location's convenience.
Tip 4: Organizing Your Wedding Budgets
Once you've gotten engaged, you'll need to figure out two large aspects of your wedding planning: whose paying for the wedding and how much you want to spend on the wedding. Keep in mind the following factors when determining your wedding number:
time of year
location
# of anticipated guests
Read as many wedding planning sites and blogs to get a feel for what "things" cost in your wedding destination. Regardless of what your wedding budget is, you will have a fantastic wedding, you and your fiancé are in it and that is, at the end of the day, all that matters to your friends and family
Tip 5: Creating your Wedding Guest List
Another important factor into your wedding budget and location is how many of your nearest and dearest will be coming to celebrate your vows. Creating your master guest list takes time, so don't expect to finalize the list overnight. There are essentially three sides (more if you involve Step Parents) to the guest list:
Bride / Groom
Bride's Parents
Groom's Parents
Have an honest conversation about what the goal of the wedding is. Is it just family? Is it just family and close friends? Is it not all family, just close family? Or, is it everyone you've ever encountered in your entire life? Please keep in mind that you'll probably trim the 'fat' off the list before it is truly final, but this number will be a large indicator on what is a suitable venue for you
Tip 6: Deciding on Your Wedding Style?
Style is an individual experience. The one thing that is a definite though, is that you need to find YOUR wedding style. Something that captures and embodies what you want the wedding to be. Whether it is a traditional or modern feeling, a specific theme, something beachy, fun, city like or rustic and charming, spend time with your soon to be and put thought into your wedding style. Start by defining your personal couple style. Next, start to think about how you visualize the wedding day. Clip images of things you like. All this information will help your vendors enormously when it comes time to design the wedding day.
Tip 7: The Art of Negotiation: Wedding Venues
After all your hard work and research, you've picked a few venues that fit the bill for your wedding. Perhaps you've already narrowed it down to the most fantastic place for your wedding. How do you go about negotiating with the venue to ensure that you are getting the best pricing and deal for you? Firstly, ask. Even if its the most outrageous request in the world, just ask. The worst that can happen is the venue says no. If that happens, ask for something else. Aim to be reasonable though in your request (i.e. if its $195 per person for Food + Top Shelf open bar, don't say, our budget only allows for $50 per person. Rather, ask where you can trim off the menu + bar to bring costs down). Go into your negotiations with a game plan. What are your must haves (top shelf, lobster, outside cocktails, whatever it is) and work around your must haves with things you care less for (bathroom attendants etc). Once you've gotten a contract that you can live with, take time to read the contract that the venue provides (this is applicable to all vendors), the contract spells out the can do's and the cannot do's of the place and any other requirements that you must be aware of. You want to make sure you are comfortable with the venue's policies. If you don't understand any clause or term, just ask. I read contracts all the time and still ask lots of questions when I don't understand anything. You won't know until you ask. When you eventually sign the venue's contract, you want to be 100% aware of everything related to that location.
Tip 8: The Art of Negotiation: Catering
- Depending on the type of venue you have chosen, you may need to find a caterer for your wedding. If that is the case, also keep in mind that no costs are fixed. A good catering company will be willing to give you multiple options in food, beverages and pricing to try and work within your budget. Optimally meet with three caterers: you'll get a wide variety of menu choices and pricing. Then choose two that you would like to have a tasting with (always ask beforehand if there are charges for tastings). Once you've had your tastings, you'll be able to negotiate on a full stomach. Choose the elements most important to you: presentation, quality of food, inventiveness of food, whatever it is. Let the caterer know what you liked about the tasting/menu and what you didn't (perhaps nothing!). Ask where to trim to save. Don't be afraid to think outside of the 'traditional' catering box, be adventurous!
Tip 9: Décor, Details & Design:
Once you've gotten your venue booked and your wedding style decided, its time to fuse those two and decide on your décor design. The optimal goal in design is to encapsulate elements from many sources:
Venue ~ what does the room look like? What elements should you play to? Is it formal/informal? Is it light and airy or dark and romantic? How does the location play into the venue? Is there a ton of history or something that the area is well known for?
Couple Wedding Style ~ are you really into flowers or not? Do you want something sophisticated, elegant, modern or over the top? Do you prefer non floral elements like berries & fruits? Are you more ethereal and into candles to set the mood?
These are all questions that will come into play as you decide on your décor design. Weddings are meant to be cohesive (i.e. have some element that runs throughout from your Save the Dates/Invites through to the end of the wedding evening), therefore, what can you do in the design concept to run throughout the wedding experience?
Amass your inspiration boards, cut outs and other items that you love into a large collection. Spend time with each image ~ what do you love about it? When you start to meet with Florists, bring a list of Flowers you love (and that are hopefully in season when you are getting married) as well as a list of flowers you dislike. Bring your images to show what you like ... even if it's a simple detail like the color of a ribbon ~ your florist can find inspiration in that.
Tip 10: Choosing Your Wedding Band & Wedding DJ
Firstly, let's dispel a myth. Wedding Bands aren't necessarily more expensive than Wedding DJs. I've seen fantastic DJs that cost lots more than a Band. So, before the pricing scares you from one end of the entertainment spectrum to another, decide which appeals to you more. Do you prefer live music or do you prefer hearing the actual artist singing? Do you want an Emcee for the evening? Once you've narrowed down those factors, get pricing from both sides. Also, talk to your venue about what sounds better in the space - some acoustics work better for bands not DJs and vice versa. Whomever you hire, you obviously want them to sound incredible.
When interviewing your entertainment, ask the following:
What is their speciality?
If you have specific songs, will they play them?
Do they allow guests to make requests or not? (also, is this something you want?)
Can you give them must play and do not play lists?
You want to hire entertainment that you enjoy and that plays great music ... whatever the form.
Day 11: Hiring Your Personal Insurance Policy: The Wedding Planner
Regardless of when in your wedding planning you are, hiring a wedding planner can simply be one of the best investments made in your budget. Even if you want to plan your big wedding singlehandedly, please do entertain the idea of hiring a Day Of Coordinator, merely so you can actually be a bride on your wedding day (and your mother can actually be a mother on the wedding day etc).
Take your time when looking for a wedding planner/coordinator. Read wedding blogs, check out wedding directories, get friend referrals, read wedding magazines ~ wedding planners are listed everywhere. Check out their websites, read their blogs, follow them on Twitter. By doing so, you'll get a very good sense of who they are and whether or not they are someone you'd like to work with. Arrange consultations with a select few and bring as much information to the meeting regarding the wedding as possible. Be open to what the planner has to say and keep in mind (this applies to all vendors) that the wedding planner is interviewing you just as much as you are interviewing them. Your relationship with your wedding planner should be a positive experience ~ you want to mesh well with them and look forward to communicating with them. You want a planner that will listen and understand your every desire and then find a way to make it happen.
Regardless of what your planner charges you, the value of your planner is basically priceless. They are your insurance policy that your wedding will be the best that it can be.
Tip 12, 13, 14: Taking a Break from Your Wedding Plans
You've been on such a productive and awesome roll getting venues and vendors lined up, doing research on fantastic design, its time to take a break everything wedding related. The key to stress free wedding planning is to make sure that you take breaks and timeouts along the way. Don't worry about things not getting done on time ~ they will. Everything will come together as you've imagined and your wedding day will be incredible. But, if you don't stop to smell the proverbial roses along the way, by the time you get to the wedding day, you'll be wedding'd out and we don't want that at all.
Make sure during your planning process that you and your soon to be are spending time together and NOT talking about the wedding. By giving yourself some breathing room from the wedding planning, you're ensuring that you will have a relaxed approach to the entire day and process.
Tip 15: Capturing The Day: Wedding Photography
Photographs, video's and memories are all that you will physically walk away from the wedding with, so make sure you do plenty of research on your photographer and *try* to not skimp on the budget here. You want to look back at your images years later and fall in love with the whole day over and over again.
Luckily, with the Internet most photographers have a wealth of images for you to check out online. But, don't hire site unseen, since this person will be following your every move on the day of, you want to make sure that you are comfortable not only with their images, but with them as well. Decide what elements of photographs you want: more candid, more details, more 'artsy' angles/poses etc. Do you want 1,2, or 3 shooters? How long do you want your photog on the wedding day? Standard packages are 8 hours which would include getting ready through the reception (either end or close to ... I suggest close to, pictures of drunk guests are not pretty). Do you care more about the actual images or albums? Do you want an online gallery that friends and family can purchase images through? Or, would you prefer to get all the proofs? What kind of album do you prefer? Make sure that the package you decide on holds everything in it that you want. Some photographers will negotiate, and some will not. Keep in mind that you want QUALITY over QUANTITY in this case. These are images you get to look at for years and years.
Tip 16: Memories Alway: Wedding Videography
It seems that brides and grooms have very firm opinions when it comes to hiring a wedding videographer ~ some are adamant that they want the video {"for their kids"} and some are adamant that they don't want any video. That said, hiring a wedding videographer is much the same as hiring a wedding photographer: do your research, meet in person and view lots and lots of past clients work. You want a videographer that isn't going to be too intrusive, but someone who gets the best 'scenes' and does fantastic editing.
When it comes to pricing, similarly to photog's, videographer's price is normally dependent on the final products that you receive from them plus how much editing goes into creating those final products. Decide on what you actual want / need and then discuss this with your videographer.
Tip 17: Wedding Invitations
When compiling your wedding budget, please do keep all your printed items in mind! Printing Save the Dates, Invitations, Direction cards, Reception cards, RSVP cards, Menus, Programs, Escort Cards / Place cards, Thank You Notes does add up, so make sure you've left some room in the budget for them all.
Keep in mind that the first bit of insight into the wedding that your guests will encounter is your Save the Date or Invitation. It sets the tone for the actual wedding and gives your guests a glimpse into the style/theme of the wedding.
Cruise around the web looking at different stationers sites and save images (or clip from mag's) of materials, styles, wording, ideas that you love. Bring all of these with you when you meet with a stationer ~ it gives them great insight into what you are looking to create.
Lastly, keep in mind that you'll need to put postage on your Save the Dates and Invitation Suites + postage on your RSVP cards ~ these costs certainly do add up, so keep in mind when you are designing the size and weight of your suites.
Tip 18: Transportation
One of the last-ish details that any couple should be thinking about is transportation.
Firstly, write down everyone that is going to need a lift. Once you've compiled your list, be sure to add everyone up to determine numbers.
Then decide your pick up and drop off locations for everyone on the list. Think of where you can re-use limos/cars so save money. Also, think about your guests: are they at a central hotel or staying all over the place? If they are all over the place you may actually be better off letting them drive or providing telephone numbers to taxi's rather than trying to get numerous shuttles/buses organized. Know your group of guests: are they the type to want to drive themselves, or take a group bus?
Once you've got the details down, contact local transportation companies to get pricing. Keep in mind that most have a set minimum of hours and that anything beyond those hours is considered over time. Are you allowed to celebrate in the car with a little bubbly or not? When would you need to supply directions? When you've found the appropriate service: GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING! Pick Up / Drop Off locations, pricing + overtime, times and what the waiting policy is.
Tip 19: Being the Gorgeous Bride
Pregnant women hear this all the time: "you're glowing!". I think the same applies to brides on their wedding day. Its one of the few days in life when our natural, inner beauty takes over and seeps to the exterior in a warm glow. I haven't met a bride who wasn't just simply stunning when the big day arrived. Which is why you want to be sure you hire the best hair and make up people to enhance your look.
Just like every day life, you don't want to look overdone or unlike yourself, so be sure to do lots of research when it comes to hiring a hair stylist and make up specialist. I find that brides leave this to the last minute, but please don't! Out of all the wedding planning, hiring a fantastic hair / make up vendor should be up there with scoring an incredible wedding gown. Be sure to schedule a trial with your appointment hair and make up artist{s}, this is non - negotiable! This is the time to experiment with different looks and decide what suits your face, gown style and overall wedding day. Discuss your gown and goals for the wedding. Share details on the wedding design. These are all very helpful to your artist! Once you've decided to go ahead with this particular person, sign a simple contract with them {this ensures that they will come and provide services on the wedding day}. I am a huge fan of having the artists come to wherever you and the bridal party will be getting ready {its fun + practical, easier for 1 - 2 people to come to you instead of moving way more than 2 people to a salon}. You can also get your photog to stop by and take some fun getting ready shots as well.
Tip 20: Finding the Yummiest Cake
Wedding Cakes have come a long way since they were very traditional in look and taste. Now you can practically get any size / shape / design / taste that you desire. You want to sample enough cake that you are confident that it tastes amazing, but more importantly, you want to do enough research to find a baker that can bake what you envision.
Be sure when you go in for a meeting / tasting that you bring your ideas and possibly some images in. Bring swatches of your dress, bridal party outfits, linens etc. Anything you can tell them about what the design of the day is going to be, can help them ensure that your cake fits in with the overall scheme of things. Keep in mind that cakes are priced per slice and that sheet cake should cost less than your regular cake. Also, if you are bringing your cake into your venue make sure to ask if there is a slicing fee ~ some have this and some don't {same goes with caterers, check first}. Sometimes the slicing fee can make bringing an outside cake in not worth it.
Tip 21: Wedding Bands
- One of the vendors that you shouldn't leave to the last minute is your jeweller. Rings can take several weeks to personalize, customize and make their way to your hands. You want to ensure that you have ample time to search for the appropriate ring to complement your newly married self. If you want to incorporate some part of an heirloom or family jewel, take time to meet with several artisans before selecting a design. These rings are forever {or until an upgrade!}, so you want to be sure that it is a design that is timeless.
Make sure that once you've received the rings that you add them to your insurance and keep them safe until their big debut!
Tip 22: Registering for Your “Adultware”
One of the first things a couple is inclined to do after getting engaged and setting the date is creating their gift registry. It should be viewed as a place where you can communicate with your guests all the lovely new adult things you'd like to have as your start your life together as Mr. & Mrs.
Before you even consider what you want, consider what you have and what you need. Really take time to go through your kitchen, dining, bedding, bath and general house needs, otherwise you are going to wind up with gift overload and waste a lot of weekends returning presents for store credit and gift cards. Seriously though, if you don't cook now, you probably aren't going to cook because someone bought you a $300 mixer in green. Keep your registries realistic.
Remember that despite all the hard work you'll put into scanning items onto your wedding registry, some guests will purchase off list, so be prepared for those one of a kind items ... that you usually can't return.
Lastly, you'll be getting presents long before the wedding and perhaps long after the wedding, but Thank You notes must be sent out immediately
tip 23: Details, Extras & Favors
Even though weddings have been happening for ages and ages, no two weddings are the same. Every couple brings their own personalities into the wedding, so don't worry that your guests have seen this or that before. Maybe they have, but not with your unique twist.
As the date rolls closer, you'll want to start working on the little details ~ from guest book ideas to favors to how to number your tables. The creative ideas are endless, so be sure to brainstorm and come up with a big list to narrow down off of. There are tons of wedding websites and magazines that showcase thousands of amazing ideas ... just be sure to choose some that have meaning to you both {i.e. if neither of you drink wine, don't give out personalized bottles of wine as favors ~ your guests won't get it}. When it comes to favors though, edible is best, especially since your guests can have it as a late night post wedding snack.
Be sure that during the week leading up to the wedding that you've already got everything you need in place, you don't want to spend your last few single days cutting wine corks in half for the place cards or making labels for your aunt's strawberry jam. Plan in advance so that you can relax before the wedding day
Tip 24: Organizing Wedding RSVPs
Hopefully when you created your guest list, you kept an electronic record of it with which you can use to track RSVP responses. If not, there's a bit of typing in your future!
You can either purchase Wedding RSVP programs that will help you track responses, or you can use excel. Either way, you'll want to be organized enough to keep every response recorded and up to date.
Firstly, you want to track yeses and nos {as well as correct name spelling and any guests that are coming for your escort cards or place cards}. After that, if you are doing a pre-selected dinner entree choice, you'll want to keep track of that. And finally, if you are monitoring their accommodations for the wedding weekend, you'll want to note that as well {helpful if you are delivering welcome bags around town}. Being able to give an accurate guest count and meal choice to your venue / caterer on the appropriate day will be incredibly helpful
Tip 25: Rentals
If you've chosen to host your reception in a place that requires you to rent your own 'everything', make sure that A) the rentals are within your budget and B) that you work with the caterer to ensure that you rent everything you need {including trash cans, server ware, coffee makers etc}.
When picking your rentals, be sure to go to the rental showroom and bring your floral proposal {or florist} with you. Your rentals and overall design should all be cohesive.
When you receive your rentals proposal, remember that you can always revisit the showroom to tweak your choices and to change quantities. Be sure to find out from the showroom what the final day to change quantities is, so in case your projected number of guests changes, you will have enough chairs and glasses!
Tip 26 & 27: Wedding Weekend Timeline
The wedding day is getting closer and closer! There are three key elements that you should be focusing on at this point:
1) Finalizing the wedding weekend timeline + confirming vendor commitments
2) Finalizing all wedding day details
3) Relaxing and pampering yourself
Creating a timeline is the most important aspect to ensuring a seamless wedding day! You'll want to make sure it includes all your vendor arrival and departure times, the actual wedding day events {including ceremony, toasts, dances, extras!} and any other information that is pertinent to your vendors {special load in / load out instructions, meals requirements, contact person information etc}. You want to have your timeline finalized before the final week before the wedding, so that you can send it out to them that week.
Once your timeline is set, begin to finalize all the day of details: having your escort cards / place cards finished, welcome bags made up, if you're having favors, guest book or any other fun elements, having them all completed and ready to go. You do not, I repeat, do not, want to be dealing with these at the last minute as it detracts from your relaxing and pampering. Being a relaxed bride and groom will make all the difference on the actual wedding day
tip 28: Finalizing Vendor Commitments
You've hired all the necessary vendors, kept up with payment schedules for all of them, you've gotten everyone attired, your timeline is confirmed, all the details arranged ... what's left?
If you've hired a planner, this normally falls under their jurisdiction, but if not, you'll need to confirm all the details with your vendors. Keep in mind that if the number of attending guests has changed in any way, shape or form, you'll want to notify the caterer and the florist ASAP! Make sure you confirm guest numbers well in advance of the last possible day you're allowed to.
You'll want to confirm that your vendors have received the timeline, they have the correct directions to the venue, they know any policies related to load in / load out, and most importantly, who the point of contact is for the wedding day {so when they are stuck in traffic, they can call and assure you they are on the way}. You'll also want to confirm if you are legally obligated to feed them during the event {check your contracts!}, so you can give this number to the caterer as well.
This is also the time to speak with your vendors about any other pertinent details of the day {must play / do not play lists, any photographs you must have etc}. Don't wait until the last minute to get these lists / details out to a vendor or think you'll remember on the wedding day.
This is also the right time to communicate with your bridal party about their roles and responsibilities on the wedding day as well as their wedding weekend schedule. You'll want them to know what time to begin getting ready and where they will be getting ready as well as any details related to transportation. This is extremely important especially if they have a spouse / guest that is not in the bridal party, so that they know what is going on as well and can be organized.
Tip 29: The Marriage License
You're getting married! The ceremony is oft overlooked in the planning part, but it is the actual reason that you're hosting a fantastic and fabulous party on the wedding day! So, please keep in mind that without the ceremony, none of this would be happening. It is also the most meaningful aspect to the whole day.
Regardless of your faith or ceremony, your officiant will have done some pre-marital work with both of you, and you will have gone through the ceremony details during your planning. But, keep in mind that prior to the wedding weekend, you will need to have obtained a marriage license in the state that you are getting married in. If you are having a destination wedding, check with your home state marriage license office to see what requirements you must fulfill {depending on the country you get married in, the US may not legally recognize the union, so you may have to have a civil ceremony to make it USA approved}.
Marriage license requirements differ depending on what state you are getting married in, so you'll want to look into these early in the process. They may have a same day turn around once you've submitted the application, or it may be days or weeks, so you want to make sure you get the license in time for the wedding day! Also, check what forms of ID you'll need when you present your application as well as the cost of the license {most only take cash or money orders, so you'll want to be prepared}. Lastly, almost all states require both the bride and the groom to be present, so plan accordingly. I also suggest not going at lunch or on a Friday ... its a zoo then.
Tip 30: The Wedding Day!
Congratulations! All your efforts in wedding planning have paid off and the big day has finally arrived!
Remember to EAT, don't sweat the small things, the day goes by so quickly, you want to make sure that you really are in the moment and enjoying yourself, not worrying about a thing. Let your vendors worry about the details!