Tips and gratuity are by traditional definition, optional. However, on a day (or over several days) that requires so many vendors to work together like a well-oiled machine, it’s important to be aware of tipping etiquette so no one feels slighted and you don’t overlook this potentially large expense in your budget. Let me touch upon some, er, tips for tipping.
Tip #1: The magazine Real Simple stresses checking the contract for built-in gratuity charges, and I completely agree. Caterers, venues and cake providers often require gratuity in the contract, as do other vendors. You can write tips into the contract so you don’t have to worry about them on your wedding day and can budget accordingly. Tipping before the service has been provided may seem counter-intuitive, but it motivates the vendor to go above and beyond for you at the wedding, by showing advance appreciation.
Tip #2: You’ll never need to give gratuity to the individual owner of the business – of the venue, the photography studio, the beauty shop, etc. That’s because, unlike an employee, the owner isn’t splitting her fee with anyone else. And for those vendors you do want to give something extra, consider small gifts and thank-you notes rather than or in addition to cash. This personal touch for vendors you’ve come to know shows that you recognize their efforts and acknowledge their unique influence on your day.
Tip #3: Finally, tap your event planner, an organized parent, best man, or maid of honor to dole out the tips in envelopes on the day, either before the ceremony or after, so that you don’t have to worry about the logistics.
Here’s a list of typical tips, taken from Real Simple, The Knot , and my personal experience as a wedding planner.
Musicians: Optional 15-20 percent of fee for ceremony musicians; $25 to $50 per musician for reception
Officiant: For a church or synagogue, a donation of $500 or more depending on how involved you are with the congregation; for a non-denominational officiant, $50-$100, though often a tip is not expected because they are charging you for their time. Note: court clerks are not allowed to accept tips.
Photographer/videographer: Generally not expected unless the photographer works for a studio. Still, if you’re paying a flat fee with no overtime, $50-$200 can be given to the artist at the end of the day.
Hairstylist: 15 to 20 percent, delivered at time of service
Limo or bus drivers: 15 percent, sometimes written into the contract
Hotel chambermaids: $2 to $5 per room; $10 to $15 if you used a suite as your dressing room
Bathroom attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Coat check attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Makeup artist: 15 to 20 percent, delivered at time of service
Delivery and set-up staff: $5-$10 per person, delivered at time of service
Catering/Service manager: $200 or a personal gift
Chef: $100+
Bartenders: Optional and typically spelled out in the contract; if not in the contract, 15-20 percent of the total liquor bill (to be split among them)
Maitre d’hotel or headwaiter: 1 to 3 percent of food and beverage fees, sometimes written into the contract
Coat check attendants: $1 to $2 per guest
Delivery and set-up staff: $5-$10 per person, delivered at time of service
Valet or parking attendants: $1 to $2 per car; 15 percent for valet parking
Waiters: $20 and up each (usually contractual and distributed by the catering/service manager or maitre d’)
Wedding planner: Optional and given by the bride. Can be up to $500, 15 percent of fee, or a personal gift like photos from the ceremony that the planner can use in her portfolio.
Jessika Brooks Brewer
CEO of French’s Point, Maine
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So glad you put this up!